blogs/rabbi-avi-taff

This week I had the amazing privilege of teaching an inter-generational Mishnah class to my 6^th grade day school students and members of Chazak. The back and forth, the discussion, was truly representative of the mishnah from avot which states, Ezeh hu chacham? Halomed mi kola dam. Who is wise? The Rabbis ask. One who learns from everyone (Avot 4:1). No matter age, position in society, we can learn from everyone we come into contact with. This lesson I not only learned from the Mishna but from my grandmother, Kitty Finkelstein, May her memory be for a blessing, who left this world last Friday. My grandma Kitty was someone who genuinely cared for people she came in contact with. As Martin Buber would have probably said, she turned the typically I-IT relationships into I-Thou relationships. Be it her server at Houston Mark Stow (Houstons, Scottsdale , AZ) whom she regularly visited for 18 years (and only if Mark was present and she could sit in his section), or Nancy, the saleswoman with fairytale brownies whom she ordered from regularly for 15 years. Mark and Nancy were not solely providing her a service -an “It”. Gram, as we so affectionately called her, was in relationship. Mark and Nancy were a paradigm through which she saw human interaction. As we learn in the Torah, Heed the stranger's treatment because "you know the feelings of a stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt" (Exodus 23:9). Grandma Kitty believed that she could learn from everyone and that she had a responsibility to care for the stranger- Two people, originally strangers, often only looked at as the vessel through which transactions take place, cared for and on my grandma's list of people to call to say goodbye.

The Mishnah studied by members of Chazak and my 6^th grade students, also from Avot, states: There are three crowns: The crown of Torah, the crown of Priesthood and the crown of royalty but the crown of a good name exceeds them all (Avot 4:13) the image of the crown is one of great power and stature. One who wears a crown typically obtains it through bloodline or inheritance yet the crown of a good name is attainable by all who chose to strive for it.  According to Jacob Neusner (20^th Century scholar), in the Sages' imagination, Jewish society recognizes three estates: the sages, the priests and the patriarchal ruler yet Neusner says, “the three crowns really do not matter as much as the nobility of the soul and the spirit. Or as Jerry Rabow, a wonderful member of our community and a participant in our class said, “The three crowns represent the way the world is, and the crown of a good name symbolizes the way the world should be.” That is, in our world we honor power and position when really we should give tribute to people for what they do to make this world better and how they treat others. My grandma Kitty wore the crown of a good name. May her memory be for a blessing and may the lessons from her life inspire us to reach out towards others with open arms and maybe we too one day will be honored with to be anointed with this crown.