Woodschlock Nation

Wed, 03/13/2019 - 9:44am -- Cantor Phil Baron

Parashat Zachor
Adar 9, 5779
Cantor Phil Baron

Woodschlock Nation

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the iconic Woodstock Festival, so we could hardly pass up the opportunity to celebrate this landmark occasion with our own Woodschlock Purim, next Wednesday, March 20 at 7:00 pm.  Our Purim schpiel will feature songs played at Woodstock in 1969, and other psychedelic, far-out, and terminally groovy tunes of the era.  Chris Hardin and his band will be here “turning it up to eleven” along with some larynx-shredding vocals by our talented singers. Please dress in your 60s gear, or if you can’t dig up anything Woodstock-appropriate, feel free to come by and shop in my closet!  Actually, at the real Woodstock clothing wasn’t all that important (if you know what I mean...).

If you’ve attended any of our Purim schpiels over the past ten years, you know that we pride ourselves on funny song parodies, supported by hilarious visuals.  This year is no exception. If you are a fan of Alan Sherman, Weird Al, or Mad Magazine, you’ll appreciate the way we tell the Purim story through familiar songs with a Megillha twist (which sounds like a new dance). In that spirit, we’d like to get you prepared to sing along to some of our Woodschlock tunes.   So here are a few of them to get you started. Song loud...louder!!!

“MORDECHAI WAS DREAMIN’” (“CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’”)
Parody lyrics by Len Levitt

Mordecai’s in town and his plan’s in play.
If things turn out right Esther’s queen someday.
Esther couldn’t be cuter if she shopped in LA.
Mordecai is dreaming that she’ll be queen someday.

He stopped into a shul about to chant Ashrei.
He was the tenth guy so they began to pray.
His spirits couldn’t go higher in the NBA.
Mordecai is dreaming that she’ll be queen someday.

Mordecai’s in town and his plan’s in play.
If things turn out right Esther’s queen someday.
She shouldn’t tell she was a counselor at Camp JCA.
Mordecai is dreaming that she’ll be queen someday!

BLACK-HATTED HAMAN (BLACK MAGIC WOMAN)
Parody lyrics by Len Levitt and Phil Baron
Got a black-hatted Haman
Got a black-hatted Haman
He’s a black-hatted Haman, blamin’ his problems on me,
This blamin’ black-hatted Haman’s got cholent where his brain’s supposed to be.

He’d steal candy from babies,
If he bites you’ll get rabies.
He’d steal candy from babies,
And even steal his grandma’s last dime.
No ifs ands or maybes,
Now he’s the lowest kind of human slime.

His black hat’s not hasidic,
His conscience must be arthritic.
His conscience must be arthritic,
He can’t get our people off his mind.
He’s a black-hatted Haman,
Shushan’s little evil mastermind

“HAMENTASCHEN” (“REVOLUTION”)
Parody lyrics by Phil Baron

You say you want some hamentashen, well, you know,
We all wanna eat ‘em all.
You say you wanna do some noshin, well, you know,
Hammentaschen’s out ‘n the hall.

And if you think it’s just confection,
Don’t you know that you should try one out.
You know we’re gonna eat all night,   
You know we’re gonna eat all night!         

Don’t tell me that it’s not nutrition, well you know
Hammentaschen’s good for you.
i tell you there’s no prohibition, well you know,
It’s low in calories too!
Another holiday, another treat,
They tried to kill us and we won, let’s eat!
The Jews are gonna be all right,
The Jews are gonna be all right…
All right!