Your family will receive a B’nai Mitzvah Family Timeline which will indicate all start dates and deadlines for your child’s B’nai Mitzvah training. A sample of this timeline is pictured below:

Before your child’s regularly scheduled meetings with their tutor begin, they will meet with your assigned VBS Cantor. It’s idea if your child is practicing at least 20 minutes a day. Our past students have found they feel much more confident for their big day if they started practicing early!

CHECKPOINT MEETINGS

• One year prior to B'nai Mitzvah (parents attendance is required) with a VBS Cantor
• Seven months prior to B'nai Mitzvah, a “check in” with a VBS Cantor before beginning weekly sessions with your child’s tutor
• One month prior to B'nai Mitzvah with a VBS Cantor
• 10 days prior to B'nai Mitzvah for a “rehearsal” with your Officiating Cantor

WEEKLY SESSIONS

• Starting six months out, students will attend 30-minute tutoring sessions on a weekly basis with a VBS B’nai  Mitzvah tutor
• Please make sure your child is practicing at least 20 minutes a day

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

TORAH  
The Shabbat morning Torah reading consists of eight short passages which are read from the Torah scroll. Note: The afternoon Mincha reading contains 3 passages which we normally divide into 4 parts. These words are from the five books of the Chumash (Torah) – Genesis (B’reishit), Exodus (Sh’mot), Leviticus (Vayikra), Numbers (B’midbar) and Deuteronomy (D’varim). Students typically master this reading in 2-4 months.

HAFTARAH  
The Haftarah is selected from the books of the Prophets, and we do not read it from a scroll. The melodies for the Haftarah differ from the Torah. Students typically master this reading in 2-3 months. Tutors will provide an audio file to aid your child‘s preparation of both the Torah and Haftarah readings. Haftarah readings are optional in the afternoon Mincha service.

Your child’s B'nai Mitzvah is a very special and exciting time not only for your child, but for your whole family. The B'nai Mitzvah process allows each member of the family to grow.

The preparation, the increased attention on Jewish identification and learning, and the event itself can each enrich what is important and even heal what may be difficult for a family.

As parents, your role is to support your child on the journey of becoming a B'nai Mitzvah. This includes:

• Talking with your child about what becoming a B'nai Mitzvah means to your family.
• Making sure all of the necessary appointments have been scheduled and that all required documents are submitted on time.
• PRACTICING! Making sure your child is practicing for at least 20 minutes a day. If you need support, please let us  know! One of our incredible B’nai Mitzvah Counselors will reach out to help you.
• Empowering your child to take ownership of preparing for this special ceremony with pride and confidence.
• Discussing your child’s parsha (Torah portion) with them and brainstorming possible topics for the B’nai Mitzvah speech/D’var Torah.
• Most of all, LOVING every moment! This event comes once  in a lifetime. Savor the experience!

The B'nai Mitzvah experience reflects the deep wisdom of Judaism as a spiritual tradition. Working together is what marks this special family and communal event. Take the opportunity to fully engage the emotional and spiritual aspects of this lifecycle milestone. 

On the Friday evening before your child’s B'nai Mitzvah date, your family will participate in their Shabbat Evening Service.

If your child’s service falls on the second Friday of the month, your family will be invited to participate in our monthly Rimonim Shabbat Service. Learn more at vbs.org/rimonim.

The B'nai Mitzvah child will help lead some of the prayers for the evening. Mothers are invited to light Shabbat candlesas Shabbat begins. Some families choose to host a Shabbat dinner at the synagogue after services. Contact Eric Levine at LA Kosher Catering to help you coordinate a beautiful dinner: (818) 789-7588

Valley Beth Shalom does not permit photography or videography during Shabbat (Friday evening through Saturday at sundown). However, you are welcome to schedule a photo shoot anywhere on the VBS grounds before or after your child’s B'nai Mitzvah date.

CONTACT
Lisa Leib, B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator
(818) 530-4018

Shortly after the beginning of the Shabbat service, parents are invited to speak to their children before the congregation. Parents’ speeches should be no longer than five minutes (total), and are a wonderful opportunity to speak to your child about the Jewish values you hold. Your officiating Rabbi will provide more guidance at your first meeting.

This is a very exciting time in your family’s life and the life of our community. We want to work together to create a meaningful and joyous celebration for you and your child during Bar/Bat Mitzvah services, throughout the party, and when your child attends the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations of her/his peers.

Here are some key expectations to remember when attending a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Valley Beth Shalom. Please share this information with your invited guests:

• Be a mensch! Display respectful behavior during services.
• Please do not use your phone in the sanctuary. If you need to use your phone, exit the room and return promptly to your seat when finished.
• Please refrain from speaking to your friends excessively or loudly in the sanctuary. Please be especially respectful of the parents of the  Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the rabbi/leader giving instructions or teaching, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student leading the prayers or chanting Torah or Haftarah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is teaching us from the wisdom of our tradition.
• Please remember the building is not a playground -- no running, no shouting. Be respectful of the furnishings and objects of the synagogue.
• Do sit respectfully in your seats. Please remember to wear a kippah, keep a siddur and a copy of the Torah with you. Wear your tallit if you have already completed your training. Get use of that beautiful tallit you received for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah!
• Participate! Your peers and friends have worked months for this moment. You may have even led the community in prayer and         learning. You know what to do. Your participation is needed and appreciated!
• Do care about your community and the environment! Do not play with school equipment and certainly do not destroy property! If you see others acting inappropriately, remind them this is a holy place.
• Wear appropriate clothing. This is a celebration and we all want to look our best. Your dress during services should be modest (shoulders covered, dresses the length of your arms and lower, dress shirts, pants, and shoes.) See the guidelines for dress below.
• HAVE FUN! THIS IS A GREAT MOMENT TO SHARE AND CELEBRATE WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!