Comments by Nancy Sher Cohen at the first Yahrzeit of Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis

Comments by Nancy Sher Cohen
at the first Yahrzeit of Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis

Chanukah will never quite be the same for us. I know that Rabbi Schulweis would never want us to be sad, but rather to focus on a full life and our community. But his passing is sandwiched between the Yahrzeit for my parents which makes this time all the more challenging for me as I know it is for so many of you. 

Rabbi Feinstein asked that I say a few words this evening and urged me to talk a bit again about how Rabbi’s Schulweis’ own teachings about community had such an impact on my family. As I talked about in my first High Holidays speech, Bob and I were here alone, no family, no connection to community, when in a matter of days in January 1984, my father passed in Kansas City and I delivered our son, Aaron. We had shiva to sit—but by ourselves? That’s not acceptable. And we had to hurry back from Kansas City (where he had many family and friends who could support us through difficult times) so that Aaron could be delivered at Cedars with my regular doctor. So what to do we do in this strange land they call Los Angeles? And that even stranger land they call the San Fernando Valley? 

A blind call to Valley Beth Shalom was life changing. I had heard of Valley Beth Shalom because Rabbi Schulweis was a legend. A legend? A rabbi? Aren’t legends found in sports figures?? Or movie stars? But a Rabbi? Well, I thought, let me call information (remember 411) and get the number of this synagogue and see what happens. 

I have told this story to Wendy and the staff because whoever answered the phone the day I called was kind enough to make clear that Valley Beth Shalom would help. If we weren’t members, no problem, because the synagogue could send over a pararabbinic who could lead services. Was there anything else we needed? How many days did we need help? Studio City wasn’t a problem either, even though VBS was located in that far away land called Encino. And so for 

several days, a complete stranger came to our little condominium and helped us through our period of mourning. 

How could we not join Valley Beth Shalom? Our journey to Valley Beth Shalom and through Valley Beth Shalom is very similar to all of yours. Rabbi Schulweis built a community here that welcomed everyone, including complete strangers who called in a time of need. And we were hooked like so many of you. 

Of course, we sent our son to Valley Beth Shalom Toddler Program. And Nursery School. And Day School. And what parent doesn’t get involved in their child’s school. So I just wandered into an Education Committee meeting---again, not knowing a sole---and Howard Bressler, of blessed memory, the Vice President of Education, welcomed me and within a short time just put me in charge. Oh goodness, what was I supposed to do? 

Sometimes people say to me that VBS is too large. But it wasn’t just through Havurah that Rabbi Schulweis tried to bring our connection down to size. It was in everything he talked about. Welcome the stranger that cold calls the office and reach out to help. Welcome the young parents who walk through the door and bring them into leadership. I can assure you that on the day I called VBS in February 1984, no one----the least of all me—would have guessed that I would be on the Board of Directors since 1985 and finally become President. 

I know so many of you have similar stories. We have many Presidents (and an incoming one—Scott Howard) who came up in leadership through the Day School. And even more telling, we now have leaders who went to our schools and grew up in our Synagogue. 

We will learn this weekend about Rabbi Schulweis’ teachings, but what he built at Valley Beth Shalom is more than theoretical and more than analytical. He built a community which lasts after he is gone and on this anniversary of his loss, we should look around the room and admire what he has done. It’s us.