Purim Advice for Parents: Encouraging Kind Acts

Purim Advice for Parents: Encouraging Kind Acts

How do we teach our children to be happy on Purim? How do we teach our children that having fun is still important in the midst of everything else? Read the article below to find out more. 

Purim means much more than just fun and games. To demonstrate our gratefulness for surviving a near tragedy, we are to fulfill two mitzvoth on the Jewish holiday of Purim to help us remember the many blessings that fill our lives: one is to make “shalach manot” -- gift bags of food to give to friends; the other is matanot la’evyonim -- to give to those less fortunate than ourselves.

GIVING ON PURIM
Giving to the needy is a year-round responsibility. On Purim, however, it is a special mitzvah to remember the poor. For more about this mitzvah, read "Gifts for the Poor: Tips on How to Fulfill the Mitzvah of Giving to the Poor on Purim Day" from Chabad.org.

As Jewish Federations writer Jill Suzanne Jacobs explains in the piece "Purim: Acts of Kindness on Purpose," the three "giving" mitzvoth or commandments of Purim are:

• Mechazit Hashekel — "Literally translated," Jacobs writes, "it means giving half a coin." The implication of this mitzvah, she explains, is "the coin should be donated to a just cause."
• Mishloach Manot — Jacobs describes this as "the sending gifts of food to friends and family."
• Mataonot La'Evyonim — "Giving gifts to the poor," Jacobs summarizes.

As with other mitzvoth of Purim, even small children should participate. As Jacob puts it, mishloach manot and mataonot la'evyonim are mitzvoth that present "wonderful hands-on Purim activities you can do with your children."

Mishloach manot is especially easy. "All you need to do is package two different kinds of food (usually hamantashen, a pastry shaped like the three-cornered hat of the villainous Haman, and then either fruits, nuts or candy)," Jacob writes, "and deliver them to two different friends."

GIVING IN GENERAL
It's never too early to teach children about the importance of performing kind acts for others. That's the message from "Jewish Muse," a professional writer (with a pseudonym) for JewishBoston.com.

In her JewishBoston.com piece, entitled "How to Teach Tzedakah to Children," the Jewish Muse explains that the generous acts performed by parents have an effect on children. She writes, "My family was not that observant in our Jewish faith. I do not remember having a tzedakah box as a young child. I remember that my mother volunteered in a variety of ways."

A recent CNN Living/Parenting.com story provides some good tips for teaching children about the values of charity.

In her story, "How to Teach Your Child about Charity," Parenting.com writer Diane Harris starts by saying, "All kids are born with an innate sense of charity and compassion." It's the job of parents, she argues, to provide guidance, "gently leading" a child to "a worthy plan" of giving.

In essence, Harris suggests there are four keys to successfully teaching children about generosity:

• SEIZING THE MOMENT — "You don't need to set aside a special time to talk about the importance and joy of giving," she says. "Opportunities pop up all the time. Passing a homeless person on the street, for example, might be a good occasion to talk about the fact that some families don't have enough money to pay for a place to live."
• PRACTICING WHAT YOU PREACH — "Kids learn best by example," Harris writes. Keep your children alert to the kind acts you yourself perform. "If you're taking a meal to a friend who has just gotten out of the hospital, say so."
• BEING HANDS-ON — According to Harris, preadolescent children may have trouble understanding abstract concepts as donating money. "It's hard for kids to grasp that the money is going to, say, buy bread," she writes. Instead, help your children to experience more tangible giving. "Even a preschooler can help a parent bag lunches for a soup kitchen, distribute socks to the people in a homeless shelter, or clean an elderly neighbor's yard," Harris suggests.
• HAVING THEM GIVE OF THEIR OWN — Harris suggests that an allowance is useful tool when it comes to fostering charity. Require (or strongly encourage) that a portion of an allowance be given. "The exact percentage of the allowance you apportion to charity doesn't matter," Harris writes. "What is important is simply to incorporate giving into the child's budget."