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“You shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy” - Leviticus 19

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Nov30

Rabbi TaffThere is one thing that is difficult, no matter the stage of life one is in.  Whether an infant, toddler, pre-teen, teenager, or adult, everyone struggles with change. Even the idea of change, be it big or small, is one that may cause us anxiety or stress.  The causes of this anxiety are endless, for a new parent the change of adding a child to the family can be overwhelming (much more so, adding a sibling or twins to the mix). For a child, transition to school or the first time a child is left at home with a caretaker. The challenges of the teen years are endless, and as adults we are constantly struggling with changes in our lives- both physical and emotional. 

So, what can help us to be able to cope with the changes that we experience in our lives?  According to the Harvard Health Publications of Harvard Medical School, “experts who study behavior change agree that long-lasting change is most likely when it’s self-motivated and rooted in positive thinking.” That is to say, we are better equipped to deal with change when we actually want the change to take place and when we are excited about the change.  But what about those times when change is imminent and unwanted?

For an answer to this question, I turn towards the teachings of our Torah. The Torah commands us to be holy for God is holy.  Often we may look at this verse and say to ourselves, “this is too much to ask of us!!” or “with all my imperfections, how can I be holy?” Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Varka commented on this verse, saying, “If the intention of this verse is for one to reach the level of holiness of the angels, this is not attainable.   What is being commanded here is to be holy on the step (of life) in which each individual is standing.”  He concludes, “In whatever situation one finds themselves, become holy and try to become just a little bit better.”  What a beautiful statement- for each of us to strive to be better than we were the day before. When dealing with change, we too can strive for holiness. It is not the change itself that defines us; rather it is the way in which we approach that change in our lives that makes for holiness.  The Torah does not ask us to be perfect or to adjust to every curve ball that is thrown our way without the blink of any eye.  Rather, we are asked to take on each challenge, and to be the best version of ourselves in a given situation.

We are in the midst counting the Omer, a time when we count each day, beginning with the second night of Passover and concluding with Shavuot and the receiving of Torah. The mystics teach that each day of the Omer is an opportunity to think about who we are as individuals and how we relate to God and to the world. I believe Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Varka would ask us during this time to strive, each day, to be a better version of ourselves so that in time, when we are faced with changes and challenges in our lives, we can stand proud and say, “I am holy.”

Fri, March 29 2024 19 Adar II 5784